Fat Middle-Aged Wannabe

This is an occasional blog exploring spiritual matters.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

How God "Found" Me

I just love the Holy Spirit! Not 12 hours after I finished a post called "How I "Found" God," God got in touch with me to remind me that in fact is was the other way around - God found me. The three readings today (Exodus, Romans, and Matthew) each dealt with how the Israelites (and the early Christians and the Apostles) did not choose God, God choose them. My pastor preached on this topic to great effect - being a Lutheran pastor this is a subject which is very near and dear to his heart. So as I sat in church today listening to the sermon, I reflected on all the ways that God reached out to me.

There is my wife. After 18 years of marriage I still can't believe my amazing good luck that she chose me. There are the friends that I have made who modelled just the sort of Christian life that made sense to me. There were the books by liberal theologians that my parents kept giving to me - eventually I started reading them. The was the growing feeling which I could not discount that my religion needed to move beyond my own head, that I needed to become involved more with others. There are the flashes of joy that I receive some days in church when I feel like I belong. There are all the ways in which all of the members of my church have reached out to me and pulled me into their community. When I am brutally honest with myself, I have to admit that I am one of the most selfish people that I know, but somehow the Holy Spirit just keeps reaching out to me and forcing me to go beyond myself. Of course I resist - too frequently and too successfully - but nonetheless I believe that I am not a total loss, and for this I thank Holy Spirit. I suppose that the proper way to think about this is not that "God found me." I am pretty sure that God always new where I was, and was calling out to me. It's just that somehow as I get older, through no effort of my own, I seem to be able to hear God a little more clearly.

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